Friday, September 21, 2007

On the end and the beginning

I got dumped last night. I'm not sure whether I was expecting it or not, but I certainly didn't enjoy it when it happened, over the phone. I felt shocked and upset, humiliated and sad. I went to the pub for pints of solace, and smoked marlboro menthols to remind myself that I am still me, whatever happens. I threw the bracelet he had given me away. I contemplated sending a vituperative text. I wondered darkly if it was because I wasn't pretty enough, or because I don't have tits as big as Jordan's. I deleted his number, his texts, his voicemails, his photos. I did not cry, but I wanted to.

When I woke up this morning though, somehow, it felt like Christmas morning. The change of rhythm, the different-ness, the slightly giddy sense of the new, added an uncanny sparkle to a morning which found me without him, but with a new chance to get a happy take on myself.

6 comments:

anneso said...

best therapy: voodoo magic with haribo gums - they are now all rotting at the back of the Battle. Grrr! x

Ali P said...

Wow, that's a quick bounceback. The power of menthols and copious amounts of beer. And NO, it wasn't anything to do with the fact that you're not pretty enouh (you're beuatiful) and big t*ts....pah. Rubbish. They are good for nothing except back ache.

The fact that you've woken today feelig so spritely, maybe an indication that this isn't something you hadn't considered doing yourself at some level?

Ali P said...

that was the worst comment in the history of the world. I hope you got what I was trying to say, which was a) you are lovely b) you are no doubt better off without him

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